The presence of sexual abuse appeared in the life of Professor Natacha Orestes, 35, from an early age. Born in Jundiaí (SP), she reports that the culture of abuse is part of the family history. In 2015, Natacha transformed the staff into a politician: he created the profile Brasil Contra SAP (Parental Alienation Syndrome) and joined Sangra Coletiva, an anti-pedophile collective.
I grew up having my body accessed by close men as if it were the most normal thing in the world. I don’t remember when it was the first abuse, it was very small, I only have flashes. At seven, sleeping at the home of family friends, I woke up with a man’s hand in my panties. Around the age of ten, it seemed that something in me attracted abusers.
I was an easy target. Perhaps it was my family situation, with an alcoholic father, an abuser, and a mother who was battered and sick because of him. She was also a victim, she was experiencing sexual terrorism that I witnessed, she was never to blame for anything.
A turkey touched his penis to my buttocks. A relative rubbed me while I played video games. The certainty that I would not say anything out of fear opened the way. Being my own family members a danger, I had no one to rely on.
My surroundings were crossed by abuses disguised as affection. You grow up with a distorted notion of affection and difficulty in establishing limits since, for you, the norm is to be invaded.
Difficult to deal with feelings of betrayal. We are created to put the family on a pedestal. Put it on, and discover that it is your destruction.
I am not an isolated case. Today, several relatives are against me because I named the violence I experienced, of which they are subject, and I help to denounce new abuse.
Another child was raped in my family, but this time she is not alone. I fight for her as if I were fighting for my wounded inner child.
There is no way to go back and erase the traumas that haunt me, but I can do the least so that another child does not have as many memories of neglect and neglect as I do. To this day I deal with the psychological consequences every day, and I don’t want that for her.
I grew up listening to stories of incestuous abuse, and I experienced them myself. I prefer not to expose names, but I will not keep secrets to keep the family at peace. I managed to blow up the stones that hid the story of my life.
In 2015, when I was prosecuted for reporting a rape and found mothers whose children suffered the same as I did, I decided to develop a communication project to raise awareness.
Men need to be stopped. It doesn’t matter if you are a father, uncle, cousin, friend. The bond, in these cases, becomes strings of captivity and must be destroyed, it cannot be fixed. There is no mental health around abusers. There is no forgiveness.
There is a lot of anger, and I embrace it as a great friend and protector. It is what keeps me able to protect other children. I would like more women to embrace the transformative potential of their own anger. We are called crazy when we show anger, but it is this ‘madness’ that will change the world.
Testimony to Ana Beatriz Gonçalves.