The crazy things in life and the challenge of finding emotional skills – Jairo Marques

I’ve always thought that life experiences formed the foundation of our preparation to face the emotional challenges that arise in the crazy journey of waking up every day. I was wrong!

Although our collection of stories constitutes undoubted baggage for the confrontations of existing, it is necessary to lose the illusion that this will be enough to contain any crisis of feelings, pandemics, misfortunes and occasional crazy things that will inevitably arise for everyone at some point.

If the logic of previous experiences were unquestionable, I would be immune to everything, extremely prepared to face whatever came, since, in my trajectory, I have come across things like: prejudice, exclusion, hole in the sidewalk, hole in the chest, absence of resources, absent resources, bitterness, loss, pain of all levels… and other things beyond what reaches the imagination of those who just watch the life of a disabled person born in a cardboard crib.

The events and facts to which we are exposed, in themselves, may not be sufficient to serve as a guide in the search for solutions to the dilemmas of the soul, of the mind, they may not form infallible instruments to unleash the encounters with the anguish, with the sadness , with the losses, with the disappointments, with the burning unpleasantness of the surprises that are presented.

Character Sadness, from the movie “Diversa Mente” (2015), by Pixar Photo: Reproduction

“Gzus, confinement fried the columnist’s judgment, poor thing!” With more time to observe particular issues and with more demands for help in situations of internal wounds of friends, I came to realize that many of us neglect emotional skills or did not have proper access to their training, that we are right —or soooo—difficulty in encountering situations that shake and afflict the peace of the brain, of ideas, of the illusory control of our feelings.

More than locating the importance of such emotional skills, it is essential to open up opportunities for training these skills that will not necessarily be anchored in direct professional support, but which also go through the recognition that it is necessary to undergo a “surgical intervention” specialized to stop the pains of “serumano”.

Listening unarmed as people close to us interpret our sentimental blackouts and actually taking into account the suggestions made on how to return “to the light” is almost costless and can be very effective.

Trying already proven healthy practices for regaining balance, such as yoga and meditation —which were somewhat marginalized or elitist activities, niche, for sheer misinformation—can also be a way to generate self-care skills.

And, beyond the self, it is up to the task of acting to improve the mental state of future generations who, most likely, will have to face challenges of inconveniences of the conscience in profusion, or does anyone think that spending two years at home, under the tutelage of adults going into a screw will not be hard bone for the little ones to gnaw at sometime?

We never had to deal with the proximity of so many deaths, so much pain, so many losses, so many patches, so many ruptures, so much accumulation of thoughts with no outlet for the street, for the party or for other people’s ears.

The cost has been high for many people, but there is a solution: the search for skills that many of us didn’t even know could exist.




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